WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF LONG TERM USE OF PRIMIDONE?

I HAVE BEEN TAKING 250 MG OF PRIMIDONE SINCE I WAS 1-1/2 YEAR OLD. I AM NOW 51 YEARS OLD AND STILL TAKE THE SAME DOSAGE. AS I GREW UP I WAS UNDER THE CARE OF DR. SPEARS IN CHATHAM, NJ THE FOREMOST AUTHORITY ON CHILDHOOD EPILEPSY AT THE TIME. DURING MY CHILDHOOD SINCE MY DOSAGE REMAINED THE SAME & I DID NOT NEED ANY INCREASE AS I WAS GETTING BIGGER THE THOUGHT WAS THAT I MIGHT GET TO A POINT WHERE I DID NOT NEED IT AT ALL. I HAVE DYSRYTHMIA. PERIODICALLY WHILE IN A CONTROLLED FAMILY ENVIRONMENT THEY WOULD TAKE ME COMPLETELY OFF THE MEDICINE TO TEST OUT THAT THEORY. HOWEVER EACH TIME THEY DID AFTER ABOUT 10 DAYS I WAS TOLD (I HAD NO RECOLLECTION OF COURSE) THAT I HAD BROWNOUTS & THEN FULL BLOWN GRAND MAL SIEZURES. MY FINAL TIME THIS WAS ATTEMPTED WAS WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE 30 YEARS AGO. AGAIN THE SAME RESULT. SO SINCE I OBVIOUSLY NEEDED IT I HAVE BEEN TAKING IT EVERY DAY FOR PRACTICALLY MY WHOLE LIFE WITH NO CHANGE IN DOSAGE AND THE ONLY CHANGE WAS FROM THE BRAND NAME OF MYSOLINE TO THE GENERIC OF PRIMIDONE. I HAVE NEVER HAD A SEIZURE WHILE ON THIS MEDICINE.

WHAT CONCERNS ME NOW HOWEVER IS I DO NOT KNOW THE LONG TERM EFFECTS OF THIS DRUG. I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A BAD TEMPER EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER AND I HAVE READ THAT HYPERIRRITABILITY IS A SIDE EFFECT ALONG WITH ANGER, MOOD ALTERATIONS, ETC. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO GO FROM BEING BALLISTIC TO CALM ALMOST IN AN INSTANT. I DON'T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY TO BE SO I THINK IT IS NORMAL. HOWEVER, AS I GROW OLDER AND LEARN MORE ABOUT EMOTIONS I KNOW THAT IS VERY ABNORNAL.

I HAVE HAD MANY MAJOR TRAUMAS IN MY LIFE AND MY THERAPIST TELLS ME I HAVE TREMENDOUS ABANDONMENT ISSUES WHICH OF COURSE PROVIDE THE FUEL FOR THE ANGER. IT SEEMS THOUGH TO ME THAT MOST PEOPLE HAVE A MENTAL SHALL WE SAY DOOR THAT IS CLOSED THAT MUST BE OPENED FOR ANGER TO BE LET OUT. THAT ANGER IS MORE A CONSCIOUS DECISION. WITH ME HOWEVER IT'S LIKE SOMETHING TAKES OVER ME AND MY BRAIN RACES WITH A LOT OF THOUGHTS WITH EACH ONE MAKING ME MORE & MORE ANGRY. I UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WILL GO THROUGH STRESSFUL TIMES AND GET UPSET BUT WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT IS THE ACTUAL PROCESS OF GETTING ANGRY & WHAT I PHYSICALLY FEEL. I WANT TO STOP.

I HAVE A WONDERFUL FIANCE WHO HAS PUT UP WITH ME AND REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. SHE DESERVES BETTER. WE HAVE LOST EVERYTHING AFTER 9/11 - HOUSE FORECLOSED, CAR REPOSSESSED, USED UP MY RETIREMENT SAVINGS, RACKED UP CREDIT CARD DEBT FOR BASIC NECESSITIES LIKE FOOD AND RENT AND WENT THROUGH A PERSONAL BANKRUPTCY. SHE HAS GONE THROUGH BREAST CANCER, MOVING AWAY FROM THE AREA SHE & HER FAMILY HAVE LIVED FOR GENERATIONS JUST SO WE COULD MAKE A LIFE TOGETHER. SHE HAD TO QUIT A JOB HERE DUE TO SEXUAL HARASSMENT ON THE JOB THAT SHE FILED A COMPLAINT WITH THE STATE AND NOW SHE IS GOING THROUGH A DEPRESSION AND HER DOCTORS CAN'T SEEM TO REGULATE HER MEDICINE CAUSING HER LOTS OF MOOD SWINGS AND EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS WHICH AGAIN ONLY MAKE MINE WORSE.

AS I SAID EARLIER I AM IN FACT SEEING A THERAPIST AND I AM TRYING TO CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR PATTERNS BUT WHAT CONCERNS ME IS HOW MY MIND & BODY ARE DURING A PERIOD OF EXTREME ANGER AND WHY IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO STOP BEFORE I GO BALLISTIC. I DO NOT RESORT TO PHYSICAL VIOLENCE AS IT IS NOT IN ME TO DO THAT BUT I GET VERY LOUD. PROBABLY ALSO A BY-PRODUCT OF GROWING UP WITH MY ADOPTIVE FATHER WHO WAS A MAJOR SCREAMER - COULD BLOW THE ROOF OFF THE HOUSE. MY PROBLEMS ARE PROBABLY MULTI-FACETED BUT I JUST NEED TO KNOW IF ANY OF IT CAN BE ATTRIBUTED TO THE LONG TERM USE OF THIS DRUG AND HOW I CAN TEST FOR IT. IS THERE OTHER DRUGS MORE RECENT THAN DYLANTIN OR TEGRETOL (THE OTHER 2 I HAVE HEARD OF BUT AFRAID TO EVEN THINK OF CHANGING TO SINCE I HAVE NEVER HAD A SEIZURE ON PRIMIDONE & WHY CHANGE IF THERE IS NO REASON TO) THAT ARE JUST AS EFFECTIVE AND DO NOT CAUSE MOOD SWINGS, HYPERIRRITIBILITY LIKE PRIMDIONE DOES?

PLEASE HELP.

THANKS,